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David White
Dec 8, 2019

No Film Week: Dec. 9-15

Richard Jewell opens this week as Clint Eastwood adds another entry into his wronged white men series of American Sniper, Sully, The Mule. He’ll keep making these as long as it takes for you sheeple wake up and learn that the federal government, the media, and empty chairs have been rigging the system against white men for years. Remember in the 70s when we could just explode villains? Clint Eastwood does. Anyways, here’s what else is happening:


Series:


Monday, Dec. 9:

  • GLAS Presents Animation Next- 7pm- A best-of collection of animated shorts from the GLAS Animation Festival. Only the best for you. Alamo Drafthouse

  • Goodfellas in 35mm- 7pm- Ray Liotta puts his resting coke face to good use in this one. Museum of Moving Image

  • Film Noir Mondays- 7:30pm- It’s supposed to be a surprise film noir movie, so just play along when they say what it is. We don’t want to hurt their feelings. Film Noir Cinema

  • The Bloody Curse- 9:30pm- 1991 stop-motion horror movie made entirely with Star Wars action figures. All this blood will have to affect their resale value. Alamo Drafthouse


Tuesday, Dec. 10:

  • Staring at the Sun- 7pm- Two teenage hasidic runaways find out that life is hard outside the community too. JCC

  • Jane Eyre in 35mm- 4pm, 7:30pm- Charlotte Gainsbourg is Jane Eyre in Franco Zeffirelli’s adaptation. William Hurt is Mr. Rochester so you know this is going to be hot. FIAF

  • Clemency + Q&A with Star- 7:30pm- Alfre Woodard stars in maybe the first movie ever that asks you to empathize with a prison warden. Tell her how good an actress she is during the Q&A! MoMA

  • Francis Ha- 8pm- Greta Gerwig X Noah Baumbach in this story about a millennial forced to finally mature. Metrograph

  • Troma’s War- 9pm- A group of Americans crash land on a caribbean island only to find a group of terrorists plotting against the U.S. They all talk it out and there’s no violence or nudity. Film Noir Cinema

  • Lady Bird- 10pm- Saoirse Ronan goes to high school in Sacramento in 2002, never once mentions Chris Webber or Peja Stojakovic. Metrograph


Wednesday, Dec. 11:


Thursday, Dec. 12:

  • Life Begins Tomorrow in 35mm- 6:30pm- The most French movie I’ve ever heard of- a pseudo-documentary about a journalist’s quest for meaning featuring Jean-Paul Satre and Pablo Picasso. Live your truth, France. MoMA

  • Kiss of Death in 35mm- 7pm- David Caruso, Nicolas Cage and Samuel L. Jackson star in the movie voted most likely to deliver amazing one-liners. Roxy Cinema

  • Feel Like Going Home + Intro by Producer- 7pm- Corey Harris traces the origins of the Blues to Mississippi and West Africa in Martin Scorsese’s PBS documentary. Film Forum

  • Monos + Q&A with Director- 7pm- Child soldiers are left to their own devices with a very important hostage and cow in this incredibly striking movie. MoMA

  • Found Footage Festival’s Christmas Special- 7:45pm- 90 mins of insane holiday oddities, including the He-Man Christmas Special. Worth the price of admission right there. Nitehawk Prospect Park

  • Ski Party in 35mm- 9:30pm- Frankie Avalon disguises himself as a girl on a school ski trip to find out why girls won’t date him. Which is weird, because he’s such a nice guy. Also, James Brown is in this movie. Nitehawk Williamsburg

  • Shouting at the Screen- 9:30pm- Wyatt Cenac and Donwill will bring the movie, you bring the heat. Alamo Drafthouse


Friday, Dec. 13:

  • Los Angeles Plays Itself- 10am- One of the best documentaries I’ve ever seen, traces the history of Los Angeles by narrating over clips of movies shot there. All day and for free. MoMA

  • Public Speaking + Intro by Fran Lebowitz- 6:15pm- Fran Lebowitz introduces Martin Scorsese’s documentary about Fran Lebowitz. Checks out. Film Forum

  • Faithless- 6:30pm- Liv Ullmann directs Ingmar Bergman’s screenplay about infidelity that he wrote while dealing with his infidelity. It’s about to get real. Scandinavia House

  • A Christmas Story- 6:30pm- Delightful kids movie where children are beaten, doing the beating, almost blinded, kicked in the face by Santa, and one kid has his part of his tongue ripped off(?). Syndicated

  • Cunningham + Q&A with Director- 7pm- Documentary about famed choreographer Merce Cunningham shot in 3-D. Hell yeah. Film Forum

  • The Thin Red Line in 35mm- 7pm- Jim Caviezel tries to escape war and Sean Penn in Terrence Malick’s epic. Metrograph

  • Bunny Lake is Missing- 7pm- Ann Lake’s daughter goes missing. If Ann Lake even has a daughter?? Metrograph

  • Taxi Driver- 9:15pm- Scorsese and De Niro’s incel masterpiece. Film Forum

  • Van Gogh- 9:30pm- 1991 biopic that follows the last days of Van Gogh’s life. So not the ear part. Metrograph

  • Dune- 10:30pm- He who controls the Spice, controls the Universe! Metrograph

  • Gremlins- 12:10am- Joe Dante and Steven Spielberg’s pro-gift card screed. Nitehawk Williamsburg


Saturday, Dec. 14:


Sunday, Dec. 15:

  • The Aristocats- 11am- Much happier than the direct-to-video sequel Aristocats II: Rise of the Proletabbyat. Film Forum

  • The Muppet Christmas Carol- 11am- Michael Caine tries to fight off conscience and Kermit, fails. Metrograph

  • Scrooged- 11am- Any movie where John Glover is the eigth sleaziest person is an incredibly sleazy movie. Nitehawk Williamsburg

  • Elf- 11am- I will never not be charmed by the stop-motion in this movie. Nitehawk Prospect Park

  • The Cat Returns- 12pm- The English subtitled version of the anime classic about that rascal the Cat Prince. Museum of Moving Image

  • The 50 Year Argument + Q&A with Co-Director- 12:40pm- Martin Scorsese and David Tedeschi’s documentary about the New York Review of Books. It’s the kind of movie that gets Michael Stuhlbarg to narrate. Film Forum

  • The Apartment- 1pm- Billy Wilder knows how to throw an office holiday party. Metrograph

  • Quarry + Q&A with Director- 1pm- Filmed version of the avant-garde stage work on WWII and fascism. With the creator in person! Metrograph

  • Way Out West in 35mm- 3pm- I’m trusting you, Laurel and Hardy, to deliver this deed for the goldmine. Please, this time no hijinks, promise? Anthology Film Archives

  • Valley of the Dolls + Intro by Dionne Warwick- 3:30pm- America’s only barbiturate masterpiece, with a title song by Dionne Warwick. Metrograph

  • Edvard Munch in 35mm- 3:30pm- Peter Watkin’s totally reads Edvard Munch’s diary to make his biopic shocking personal- I’m telling mom. Metrograph

  • Gloria- 4pm- Gena Rowlands and Phil hide from mob hit squads in John Cassavetes’s 1980 thriller. Museum of Moving Image

  • Mistress America- 7pm- Greta Gerwig shows Lola Kirke around and Noah Baumbach shows us that any movie can suddenly veer into screwball farce if you want it to. Metrograph

  • The Chrysanthemum and the Guillotine- 7:30pm- Japanese film about two female sumo wrestlers in the 1920s who become involved in an anarchist group, really get into Rage Against the Machine. Spectacle

  • Something Wild in 35mm- 9:30pm- Jonathan Demme, Melanie Griffith and Ray Liotta breaks Jeff Daniels, only to build him back up. Sort of. Metrograph


What Else is Playing:

  • 63 Up

  • Atlantics

  • Chinese Portrait

  • Dark Waters

  • The Disappearance of My Mother

  • Empty Metal

  • Fantastic Fungi

  • A Hidden Life

  • Honey Boy

  • In Fabric

  • The Irishman

  • It’s a Wonderful Life

  • Kind Hearts and Coronets

  • Knives and Skin

  • The Kingmaker

  • Little Joe

  • Marriage Story

  • Midnight Family

  • Pain & Glory

  • Parasite

  • Portrait of a Lady on Fire

  • Synonyms

  • Temblores

  • The Two Popes

  • Varda by Agnes

  • Waves


What to Plan on:

A couple of things coming up in December- IFC center is showing It’s a Wonderful Life in 35mm and 4K all December long, including a bunch of screenings which will be introduced by Donna Reed’s daughter. Donna Reed had a storied career in Hollywood and was also talked about once on Gilmore Girls.


Quad Cinema is showing Jean Cocteau’s dreamy, metaphorical Orpheus adaptation in 35mm on Dec. 18, with n+1’s film critic A.S. Hamrah. It’s a beautiful movie and Jean Cocteau is a master filmmaker. They’re also showing James Ivory’s The Europeans with a Q&A with Ivory on Dec. 20. This is the first of Merchant Ivory’s Henry James adaptations that they became famous for after their run of Indian films. James Ivory also adapted the screenplay for Call Me By Your Name and really toyed with my heart, so he definitely has to answer for that.

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